| I don't know why this was caught in my mind. I was just talking to someone and then I began to talk about you for a little bit. You probably don't have any idea how much i enjoyed your company in the past, and how comfortable i felt with you; and how much fun I had with you....i miss it a lot, and i wish i could go back and fix the mistakes that i made. Honestly, I don't think anything I did gave you any reason to abandon me. We were friends. I thought we were close friends. I thought you understood me, and I understood you. I thought you would accept me no matter what happened because thats what I would have done for you. but i guess friendships are limited, and you could not see past the situation at hand. I remember one night, we were at a friends house, and when I wasn't feeling very well, you gently took my second finger and held it, asking me if i was okay. We laid on the driveway of our friend's house and just laid there, enjoying each other's presence even though we probably exchange any words to each other. Whenever I fought with my boyfriend, you would always be there, giving me your shoulder to cry on, and giving me your hand to hold when i was afraid. Even when I was being a bitch, you wouldnt stop me, but you would let me get my bitchiness out, and let me complain. yet, you didn't look at me as a child, but you gave me your respect. i felt as if you were part of my family. But one day, i made some sort of mistake that you were unable to look past. I'm guessing that your view of me changed and that I was not the same person you knew. I'm assuming you didn't want to associate yourself with somebody like me, even though you had no idea what was going on. But did I even try to mend our friendship? Did i try to make you rethink the situation? no. so I'm not blaming you, but me, for ruining such a close friendship. and now i regret as i look back. you must know that there are not many things that I will look back on and regret, cuz i believe that once something happens, life goes on; but this is something that I myself did not even know. our friendship meant a lot more to me than what i thought. I don't know why it took me over two years for this to hit me. I guess i tried to ignore the fact that our friendship has faded. I hope you are doing well at college, and although we may not be such good friends anymore, i hope that I will randomly come into your thoughts. i hope that you will miss our friendship, just as I do. |
